


"None of this is your fault."

by sshysmm



Category: Lymond Chronicles - Dorothy Dunnett
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Female Friendship, Ficlet, Gen, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Prompt Fill, Recovery, Tumblr Prompt, the band Au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:22:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sshysmm/pseuds/sshysmm
Summary: Joleta suffers an overdose at an album launch party at St Mary's. Philippa is the one to make sure she gets to hospital, but she feels guilty at the secrets she's been keeping.Set the morning afterRecovery.Originally posted on tumblr.
Relationships: Joleta Reid Malett & Philippa Somerville
Kudos: 3
Collections: Lymond fics set in the Band/'80s AU





	"None of this is your fault."

**Author's Note:**

  * For [word_docs_and_willowboughs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/word_docs_and_willowboughs/gifts).



“None of this is your fault.”

The tears Philippa had been holding back, unaware, arrived with the dawn. She was too tired to be ashamed by the time shock hit her like a cloudburst. With a rush, she remembered _yelling_ at Mr Crawford and Brother Gabriel and anyone else who stood there blinking in dumb drunkenness at her as she tried to summon help for her friend. She remembered gripping Joleta’s hand so tight she could feel the bones beneath, she remembered standing outside the ambulance wondering why Joleta’s brother was not coming with them, and the way her friend’s face had turned blue, then grey as the paramedics fought to make her breathe again.

She remembered the secrets she had been told: the drugs, the child, the sordid, unbelievable tales that she pretended could not possibly have applied to Joleta. Joleta, the witty, talented girl who snuck her into clubs and read _Cosmo_ aloud to her with a critical tone. The spoilt child of international schooling, lonely and cruel, possessive, controlling and desperately in need of someone to be her friend.

Philippa sobbed helplessly into her mother’s jumper and told herself what a fool she had been for not helping Joleta better, and sooner.

Kate, who smelled like home, and innocence irretrievably lost, rocked her in a bear hug and repeated that Philippa was not to blame. She stroked Philippa’s hair, which was lank and tangled with hairspray, she wrapped the tartan blanket from the back of their old car around Philippa’s shuddering shoulders, and she let her hiccup and weep until the wool of her jumper was heavy with damp.

When her tears had subsided, and Philippa’s face felt puffy and sodden, Kate kissed her forehead and said she would fetch something to drink.

Philippa trailed back into the ward with a sniff and squinted at the bed.

“Oh!” her hands flew to her mouth and she ran a few paces to help Joleta get her respirator off.

Joleta rubbed at the red marks on her cheeks and groaned at the drip in her hand. She looked Philippa up and down with a cool grey eye.

“Oh, Pippa, what have you been crying about?”

“It’s all my fault,” Philippa said wetly. “I could have stopped this happening to you, I could have stopped Mr Crawford from getting into trouble with your brother.”

Joleta’s laugh was silent, and she grimaced at how dry her mouth was. “Don’t be silly, silly. If anyone’s to blame it’s me, as usual,” she drew a sharp breath through her nose and lay back against the pillows weakly.

Philippa frowned with a determination that made her own dehydrated head ache. “ _No_. No, Joleta, it isn’t your fault.” She held Joleta’s hand between her two hands, more gently than she had last night, and she sniffed guiltily again. “Um. Does your brother know? Is that why he isn’t here?”

Joleta’s eyes widened. “Oh. _Shit_.”


End file.
